He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
