But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
