So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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