I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
