9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize