I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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