...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Randomize
