honey bunches of taint.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
