Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
