i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
