batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
