You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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