Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
