I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
