And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
