He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
