Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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