Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
