The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I'm having to shit out rocks
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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