I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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