AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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