Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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