You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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