It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I'm eating all of the evidence.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
