So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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