I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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