I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
