She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
