that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
