I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
