no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
