oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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