"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
