And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
