i barfeds in our rink
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize