I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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