i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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