Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
