I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
