Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
