Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
