this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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