That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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