Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize