I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
