Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
