I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
