Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
