I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
there was a trapeze. enough said
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize