Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
vagina is talking i cant
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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