We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize