This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
