This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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