We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
