It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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