There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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