I want to stick my p in your. b.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
