I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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