Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
She said her name was "party"
dude i'm inner monologue high
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Randomize
