tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
