My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
You smell like stripper and shame
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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