so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
