yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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