If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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