i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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