We won't sleep together?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
